What are some of your best tips and advice on raising kids?
I have so many, but only a few are ones I've really tried and worked at with my kids.
* One would be correction vs. discipline. I used to discipline the kids everytime they would do something wrong, as time went on I realized the need for correction rather than discipline. For example if Jeremiah asks me to get him a sandwich impolitely I used to tell him not to speak to me that way and send him to the corner. Now I will say," instead of using a mean tone, could you ask me again the proper way?" and if he does, I'll praise him and if he doesn't, than we see his heart and treat that issue accordingly with discipline.
* Obviously we know to be consistent, but how about timing??? The 1st call , the 2nd call, the 3rd call....no answer....WHAP!!! I don't do that, but I get angry if my laziness is being tested by my child's lack of cooperation. 1st time you ask, they should answer, 1st time they don't, you should assist the situation...makes for a happier mommy and kids.
* Eating properly, sleeping properly, exercising properly(esp. with boys) and doing daily tasks on a schedule helps keep the home feeling orderly and knit together. Shopping isn't half as bad with 3 kids when they aren't tired or hungry.
I could go on and on, but those are the ones I'm thinking about now...what are yours???? :)
5 comments:
My newest one which I have been applying over the years but not to the extent I think necessary is that things should not be fair for all the kids. Please read the article in order to understand more. This really comes into play when they are older.
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/1996/july/07/the-folly-of-fairness/
One of the best articles I have read in a long time.
Carri
I agree with everything you're saying- we do that in our house too... our biggest issue right now is the not listening- feeling that you are getting blown off. I've had some heated discussions with my husband about it too, because we need to be on the same page, and I need some back up!! I don't want to be getting mad because my children are flat out ignoring me..
Carri and CraftyKat,
you both are older than me and have been raising children for longer, so I'm slightly embarrassed having you read my pitiful parenthood discoveries, but it's nice to learn from you both. I did read the article you mentioned Carri, I really, really appreciated reading it. I am going to implement that now, I never thought of fairness in that way before. I need to also apply it to my own character...*sheepish grin*---great article...thanks for sharing!!! :)
RESPECT -- for your kids. That's my biggest tip. I try to remember (and sometimes fail) that my oldest is also my brother in Christ. And they are all worthy of my eye contact and full attention.
Modelling is more effective than telling. If they have a bad habit, look in the mirror and see where it comes from. It hurts, but it's usually me.
I totally agree with the respect and modeling- I've always tried to say please and thank you with my children- yes they should do something that they are told to do, but it always bugs me to hear someone say to their child "do this, get me that..." etc... it just sounds so... rude... I mean, there's a point when you've been polite and they're still blowing you off, and you say "do it NOW!", but just basic conversation, they need it modeled. Parents who tell their children to use good manners with others and then are surprised when they don't do it at home or with them, when they're not modeling it.. yeah... kind of wonder how they think they're going to learn it. It also applies to honesty, service, kindness, generosity, etc. they're more likely to apply something they've seen their parents (good and bad habits) do. Anyhow, that's my $.02 on that one... :) It's not always easy, I agree..
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